when I finished putting my clothes in the old Pine dresser, I took my bag of bathroom necessities, and went to the communal bathroom to clean myself up after the day of travel.
I look at my face in the mirror as I brush through my tangled them maybe with the light, but already I looked sallower, unhealthy. my skin could be pretty -it was very clear, almost translucent looking- but it all depended on color. I had no color here.
Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself I wasn't just physically that I would never fit in and if I couldn't find a niche in the school with 3000 people what were my chances here?
I don't relate well to people my age maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was saying the same things through my eyes, that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain, but the cost doesn't matter all that matter was the effect, and tomorrow would be just the beginning.
I didn't sleep well that night, even after I was done crying, the constant whooshing of the rain and wind across the roof wouldnt fade into the background I pulled the faded old quilt over my head, and later, added the pillow, too, I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight when the rain finally settled to the quieter drizzle.
Thick fog was all I could see out of my window in the morning, and I could feel the claustrophobia creeping up on me. You could never see the sky here it was like a cage.
Breakfast with Zac was a quiet event he wished me good luck at school. I thanked him knowing his hope was wasted, good luck tended to avoid me my dad(zac) left first, off to the police station That was his wife and family. After he left, I sat at the old square oak table in one of the three matching chairs and examined his small kitchen, Nothing was changed.
